Love

Yesterday was my birthday. I was looking at my iPhone upside down and noticed something that really struck me.  Upside down my birth date when written 3/07 looks like LOVE when you just glance at it.  Why did it strike me?  Because I am constantly being reminded to love.  It is hard for me.  The "putting others before myself" love.  The "forgiving 70 times 7" love.  The "patient and kind" love.  I am, in my sinful nature, an extremely selfish, impatient, grumpy human being.  Without Christ's help, I would be a hermit in a mountain cottage brandishing my walking stick and cursing anyone who came near.  Not that I would enjoy being removed from the world, but I could do without the people.  So, God is constantly reminding me to love others.  I must keep forgiving. I must get out of bed and care for my family...and not just that, but I must do it joyfully.  That, I suppose, is the hardest part.  I love grumbling under my breath as I slam the bowls down on the counter and practically throw my daughters' juice and breakfast at them.  Sheesh.  If I could just get a glimpse at what I look like, I would be horrified.  And Satan chuckles.  "Got her again," he giggles. "She gets plenty of sleep, but if we just get her up and get her to think of herself first, we've got her for the rest of the day."  I hate to admit it, but he's right.  One thing goes wrong, and I am completely out of sorts.  My wonderful husband gave me a morning to myself yesterday. It was quiet and peaceful. I exercised without needing to hurry. I read in bed without being interrupted 10 times in as many minutes.  I actually sang in the shower without anyone coming in and saying, "What are you doing?"  But I didn't get the one "THING" I wanted, so I got grumpy.  We couldn't afford it anyway, but I got grumpy.  I'm not sure I actually even have shared with him that it is something I would really want. But I got angry.  SERIOUSLY?  Hello, spoiled one, how old are you?  Yikes.

So God uses a small visual thing to smack me over the head.  "Love," He tells me.  "Just do it. Do what I am telling you to do."  How often do I say that to my girls?  "Why can't you just do what I tell you to do?"  Hmmmm.  Why can't I?  Because I'm trying to do it on my own.  I'm independent. I don't like asking for help. At all.  But if you were trying to learn how to play baseball, wouldn't you accept help from Ken Griffey, Jr.?  If you were trying to learn how to be a playwright, wouldn't you accept help from Mr. Shakespeare?  And if you were trying to learn how to love, why wouldn't you accept help from the God, Who by very definition IS love?  So, I have to be blunt and tell myself, "Listen, idiot. You can't love and give without help. You can't be the person God wants you to be without HIS help.  So, open your eyes, open your heart, and listen. And accept His help. Let Him work through you. Stop blundering about on your own and get it right."  Love. Be patient. Be kind. Give and give and give. Don't expect anything. Just do what you know is right. Forget about yourself. And be joyful. Why? Because I'll get repaid in the end? Nope. Because it's what God wants me to do. And because, despite my rollercoaster emotions, I LOVE my family. I LOVE my friends. And, deep down, I would do absolutely ANYTHING for them.