Okay, Lord

Okay, Lord.  I guess that's all I can say right now.  I suppose I could get frustrated, swear, and hide in my closet.  What good would that do me?  This past week...a favorite teacher of mine died, a classmate from high school died, my mother was diagnosed with early signs of Parkinson's, and the house we're renting was put up for sale.  Really?  A little part of me is in the closet, on the floor in tears, swearing at the top of my lungs.  (For those of you who have had it worse, I apologize for my pettiness, and I'm praying hard for you)  The other part of me is smiling and saying, "Okay, Lord, bring it on. What would you like me to learn?"  Have I forgotten how to trust in Him?  I don't think so, but there's something going on here.  God doesn't "coincidentally" bring things into our lives.  He has everything planned. To the second.  So, I can fight, and kick and scream like a 2-year-old.  Or I can behave like the 35-year-old Christian I am (a Christian for 35 years), and relax.  Becoming a Christian at 4 years old does not guarantee a smooth and easy life.  Relatively, it has been a breeze.  And I will praise the Lord for that.  I will welcome everything with joy and the knowledge it is happening for a reason.  God will use all things for my good. Even if I completely screw up.  That was a bit of a shock to me when I actually read that passage carefully.  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 NIV)  ALL THINGS.  Everything. He will help us grow and learn and become more like Him when we seek His will.  I could throw everything away and become bitter.  But when I look around...when I see my beautiful, perfect Hannah who had hydrocephalus before being healed, when I see my Catlyn who I thought should have been a boy but has been the perfect little girl I needed, when I look at the gorgeous trees and mountains around me, gaze at the beautiful full moon, gawk at the infinite universe that some scientists still think HAS to contain other intelligent life, I just can't doubt my AWESOME God.  I KNOW He will work things out for us.  I KNOW He has a plan for us.  "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.'" (Jeremiah 29:11-12)  So I will.  I will call upon Him.  I will give Him today, tonight, tomorrow, and the future.  And...I'm not going to stress.  'Cause He's got it.  :)  No point in me worrying when He will point me in the right direction when I listen.  So, I'll listen.  I will give every day to Him and know He will provide what is best.  And sometimes the "best" is hard.  Sometimes we need to be refined. Not a pleasant process...but the end result? PERFECTION in heaven.  That's good enough for me.  Okay, Lord. :)